You Only Live Twice (1967) - Originally Written September 12, 2012

 The Run Up to SkyFall - You Only Live Twice (1967)

Author's Note

In 2012; I set out to watch all the official "Everything or Nothing" (EON) studios James Bond films in preparation for what was the 23rd film in the series; Skyfall (2012). For the sake of  brevity; these are being posted here as originally written, though my opinion in some cases may have changed. I've been tinkering with screening them again under different circumstances. However, as of right now, these are my official thoughts on all the James Bond series.
 
Due to the repeated themes and messaging that appears in series films; especially ones spanning five decades at the time; I chose to use a "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" format. I also ranked all the pressing "lists" that Bond fans tend to on occasion.

The Numbers:

Bond: Connery (5 of 6)
M: Bernard Lee (5 of 11)
Q: Desmond Llewelyn (4 of 17)
Moneypenny: Lois Maxwell (5 of 14)
Director: Lewis Gilbert (1 of 3)
Theme Song(s): "You Only Live Twice” – Nancy Sinatra
The Villain(s): Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasence)
The Henchmen: None of significance
The Girl* - Kissy (Mie Hama)
* - only the girl Bond ends the film with will be considered for the sake of brevity. This is especially important in more recent films; though it is especially jarring in this film, as Bond spends most of the film head over heels in love with Aki
The Evil Scheme: S.P.E.C.T.R.E has been commissioned to steal American and Russian Space Craft shortly after their respective launches; effectively blaming the other nation for it; essentially forcing the Cold War to heat up in violence.

The Good: 

The cinematography and the score are both incredible. The film just LOOKS and SOUNDS gorgeous. A lot of the special effects are hurt by modern technology that displays just how badly green screen and model effects were during that period of time. But the pure beauty of Japan is captured nicely here. The second half of the movie is full of Ninjas, and as we all know, Ninja's make EVERYTHING better. I also have a really unnatural affinity for the Tanaka character. How can you not love a guy that makes all of his friends call him "Tiger" and has his own train?

The Bad: 

One of my major gripes about "Thunderball" (1965) was that there were too many dots that the viewer was left to connect on their own or spend too much time thinking about. Here, the opposite is true. There is WAY too much of the script dedicated to superiors executing orders, subordinates repeating the orders and then executing those orders. There are no fewer than 3 occurrences of "Open Shutters" "Opening Shutters" *shot of shutters opening* Does that sound incredibly pointless and dull? It should because it is. Everything after the epic "Little Nellie" scene tends to drag, and drag badly; not even Ninjas can save it entirely.

Final Thoughts:

 I liked "You Only Live Twice" a lot more on my first viewing; probably because it does look and sound awesome and is a pretty impressive sensory vehicle. However, a lot of the logic gaps that became such great parody fodder in The Austin Powers movies were very much front and center here. As a standalone film, it's probably pretty bad. As a Bond movie, it's towards the bottom of the middle of the pack (It's definitely Connery's worst performance as Bond); however it does have some pretty substantial redeeming value in that we finally have a name and a face to put with the enigmatic "Number 1" stroking the white Persian and issuing orders for S.P.E.C.T.R.E. (Ironically, we'd never see the same face twice for that name). In my opinion, YOLT has perhaps it's greatest value as part one of the Blofeld trilogy; which of course means part two (my favorite Bond film of them all) is just a couple days away.

2 out of 5

The Rankings:

The Villains:

1. Aurich Goldfinger (Goldfinger)
2. Emilio Largo (Thunderball)
3. Klebb/Morzeny (FRWL)
4. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (YOLT)
5. Dr. No

The Henchmen:

1. Oddjob (Goldfinger)
2. Donald Grant (From Russia with Love)
3. Fiona (Thunderball)
4. Mr. Jones/Professor Dent (Dr. No)

The Girls

1. Tatiana (From Russia With Love)
2. Domino (Thunderball)
3. Honey Ryder (Dr. No)
4. Pussy Galore (Goldfinger)
5. Kissy (You Only Live Twice)

The Songs:

1. Thunderball (Thunderball)
2. You Only Live Twice (You Only Live Twice)
3. James Bond Theme/"From Russia with Love" (FRWL)
4. James Bond Theme (Dr. No)
5. Goldfinger (Goldfinger)

The Movies:

1. Goldfinger (1964)
2. From Russia with Love (1963)
3. You Only Live Twice (1967)
4. Thunderball (1965)
5. Dr. No (1962)

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